Trailing Arbutus, or Epigaea repens, is an evergreen herb native to eastern North America, where I'm from. Also known as Mayflower, it's nickname, "budding beauty", can often be applied to someone whose talents haven't been shown to the world yet. What's cool about it is that it's vulnerable, or even shy. If it becomes disturbed, it will never grow where it was, and its habitat is then destroyed.
I'm sure you're reading that like, "Wtf is cool about that??" And my answer is, that it is such a metaphor for my own life. When I become disturbed in any situation, I rarely will go back to it once I leave, and I very seldom will allow that cycle to continue. Also, I'm trying to be more vulnerable. Life has made me into someone who generally doesn't like to show or share emotions with anyone. It makes me uncomfortable. And I have ALWAYS been shy.
So the Arbutus speaks to me here. It's a work in progress, and I hope that through helping my readers, I'll help myself. Or allow others to help me! This is also something I struggle with. I tend to be very independent, and I don't like asking for help because if I do it myself, it'll be done the way I want, in the time frame I want. I know -- a cycle I shouldn't keep repeating, but that's something that will take a lot of conscious effort to stop. It's very ingrained, and definitely falls into the category of Shadow Work.
Getting to the Owl -- My birth totem, spirit animal, and mysterious friend. I have always loved owls. I've collected them since I was a child, and continued into adulthood. I found out that Owl was actually my birth totem in the Native American zodiac after a visit out west to New Mexico. It made so much sense. A little cliche, but the wisdom is what I've always had. I've always been able to see beyond the minutiae to the bigger picture of everything. My intuition has always guided me, and when I wasn't listening, I walked down my own stupid paths that made no sense, and basically shaped me into something I didn't like, and then had to completely shed and regroup.
I can't stress enough how important your gut instincts are. Never doubt them. That nagging feeling you get in your core is your own intuition telling you that something is not meant for you. Don't go there if it doesn't feel right. But on the other hand then, anything that feels amazing to you, it probably is! If you feel led to it, and it's calling your name, and you feel excited when you think about it, it's yours. That's not to say that sometimes you won't be tricked by outside influences if you only use your intuition, but combining it with your own smarts is the best way to go.
So be wise like the Owl, and be a little more flexible than the Arbutus. I strive for it every day.
Collective reading coming soon!
Peace ☮
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